Wonder Woman 1984

This movie had enough cheese to damn near make me lactose intolerant.

I loved the first WW movie. I loved her roles in both B vs. S and The Justice League. I didn't have expectations, but I was very excited to see this movie.

But I felt very let down by it. I will have to post spoilers for this one. So, if you haven't seen it yet and don't want anything ruined, please don't read this review until you do.

Okay, now on with my review. What the fuck, DC? You had WW in the 80s and that's the best you could do? I don't even remember if there was any 80s music in the movie. For a 2 hour, 30 min WW movie, you got to see about 15 mins of WW action.

Basically, I knew right away we have the whole monkey's paw storyline. But this movie makes the mistake of others when they want to have more than 1 villain in the movie. Most can't pull it off. Cheetah was Cheetah for about 3 mins. And also, they went with the cliche of her character being the bumbling outcast no one likes. As if we haven't seen that before. And of course, they get powerful and lose their damn minds. So, nothing new to see there.

Then you have the second villain whose motivations where all over the place once he got his hand on the monkey paw plot device. He felt underdeveloped so, I really didn't care about him.

It just all felt so safe even though they were trying to show chaos, but it felt like nothing really serious was happening. There were scenes that were supposed to be emotional, but I felt nothing. And it was the way that those scenes were rushed and also introduced.

One thing I think was a mistake was having her long lost love return in the body of a strange man. You see him with one face and as they kiss, he transitioned to Chris Pine. I'm like, is that just how she sees him, or did he just transform in front of this crowd and no one noticed?

It was the latter, but the impact of that scene was tarnished by the fact that he had taken over the body of another man instead of just coming back in his own body. And the scene was just cheesy as fuck. I kept wondering who was the guy whose body he's using? What happened to him and how unfair it was for his life to be high jacked.

Also, am I to believe WW ain't had no dick since World War 1? She was still pining for dude who been dead for like 70 years. Good God, at least she knocked the bats out of the cave when he came back. But, Diana, you're immortal, you really don't want to find love ever again? That shit was just sad.

The finale was anticlimactic and makes me wonder if there is going to be any repercussions for the villain's actions, especially since ppl seem to remember what happened after the day was saved.

The special effects looked cartoonish to me. Especially whenever she used her lasso, looked like a dumb ass cartoon noodle. And she ran around looking like she had wheels on the bottom of her boots.

The beginning was really good, but they never did revisit the moral of that lesson. And it is a stretch to try to say her sacrifice is related to that lesson.

I tend to give superhero movies a LOT of leeway. For instance, I enjoyed the other DC movies including Green Lantern. But I draw the line at Catwoman.

WW84 is in the middle.

FINAL VERDICT: ON PROBATION!!! Movie, you are lucky this is your first offense. I am very disappointed to see you standing in my courtroom with that stupid look on your face. You know you fucked up. Don't do it again. I sentence to pick up the trash of garbage movies like Steel and Elecktra so you can see your future if you continue down this road.

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