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The Gray Man Movie Review


First off, can we take a moment to apprecinate (Yes, I spelled that the way I wanted to.) Chris Evan's porno lip pubes?


I mean, that was a thing of beauty just sitting on his upper lip, all obscene like that.


Okay, moment over, let's get on to the review. This movie was all kinds of silly fun. These are the kinds of movies I put in the stupid action flick category like John Wick, Fast and Furious, most movies starring Ryan Reynolds are in the same vein as this flick.


Just don't think too hard about the character motivations, realism, or plot holes big enough you can visit them as tourist attractions. Just watch the pretty explosions and action, laugh at the humor that slips in. I will say that I feel Chris Evans was the only one who read the script and was like "Oh, so this what we doing? Okay... I've got the perfect look for this goofy ass role." He looked like a man who stepped right out of the 50s who thinks women need to be seen and not heard.


You could tell he was having the most fun. I actually loved the scenes he was in and the movie got a bit more fun and ridiculous when he was on screen. I wonder who will be the villain in the sequel because they left a lot unresolved.


Also, ummmm, there's no way you can hide when someone you have with you is EASILY traceable. it's like... I don't know how you're going to pull that off. Girl needs her lifesaving device. But see, there I go thinking about shit. I need to take my own advice and shut my brain off.


You mean to tell me NOT. ONE. BULLET hit this dude when he was stuck the the bench? Now that's just stupid as fuc--damn it... I started thinking. Nick... just let it go.


FINAL VERDICT: INNOCENT, BUT JUST BARELY. Motherfucker, I'm watching you. You were very close to stepping into Transformer 5's shit. And let me tell you, once you do that, you'll never get it off the bottom of your shoe. So, watch it. Bailiff, you can release this movie, but put an ankle bracelet on his sketchy ass.

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