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Poltergeist Remake - Movie Review

I am currently still watching this movie as I write this review. I feel like I might as well finish it as I've come this far.


Sure, I could have been spending my time better watching the leaves blow in the wind. Hell, I could have been watching my shadow just sit there. But instead, I decided to watch this movie.


It was filled with all of the BS I HATE in horror movies.


  1. Creepy kids? Check.

  2. Stupid creepy kids? Check

  3. Kids that act like it's normal to sit back and make friends with malicious entities? Check

  4. Kids that don't scream or seek help RIGHT AWAY when shit gets scary. But instead continue to stare in silence as evilness is going on? Check

  5. Parents that continue to put their kids in danger by staying in the house that is haunted? Check

  6. Adults making all the dumb ass choices they can? Check

  7. The dad being dumb? Check


So much was wrong with this remake. The first thing I noticed was it didn't seem like anyone was taking this seriously. Like, the little girl mentioned speaking to the ghosts, and it wasn't a further conversation.


The daughter gets snatched into the portal and you don't even see the parents respond realistically. They didn't scream, panic or cry. The whole time, they seemed just mildly inconvenienced.


There was too much laughing and nonchalant attitudes for my taste. Wasn't even a little bit scary. Were they trying to go for a horror comedy with this movie, because it failed on that front too.


Damn, this was turrible. I have to say it that way because calling it terrible would be comparing it to movies like the New Nightmare on Elm Street.


FINAL VERDICT: GUILTY AS SIN IN A CATHOLIC SCHOOL. (Yeah, I went there) Movie, you should be ashamed of yourself. How DARE you waste the talents of Sam Rockwell?!? Bailiff, throw this bastard in the SHU!

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2 Comments


Alibi
Alibi
Sep 19, 2023

Perhaps they were going for tongue in cheek?. I wasn’t going to bother but you said Sam Rockwell. He’s in it?. Does he dance?. I lurve watching him dance and act.😍😍

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I’m right there with you!!! If you’re not going to do the movie justice PLEASE DO NOT MAKE THEM!!

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