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Movie Review - Barbarian

Just got out of the theater from seeing this movie about 2 hours ago.

Okay, I am a horror movie lover. Been watching them since I was 5 years old with my dad.

So, it takes a lot for a horror movie to scare me, or creep me out.

This one did neither. But that's not to say it wasn't entertaining. I just don't fall for the usual jump scares. You've got to really do something different to get me tense.

I'll post a list here on my blog of my favorite horror movies that actually got me. But, I'll move on.

This movie had some foreshadowing that I saw coming a mile away and some twists that I didn't expect. So, I apprecinated that. I could tell that it was trying really hard not to hit the usual tropes. It tried to justify character motivations and all that. But you know me... get out that damn house!

Like, why are you taking your curious ass into the depths of the hella-creepy unknown, shaking and sweating and shit with no weapon, your dumb-ass camera phone light, and zero fighting skills? Why are you doing that? You can't help nobody, get your ass far away and just send your thoughts and prayers. Or burn that damn house down later, if you get free. Just throw a few Molotov cocktails from your car, don't even get out of your car. Throw them mofos and keep driving.

I wish I would... but I ain't dumb, so I would never.

And yes, there was some level of ridiculousness here, I don't want to spoil it, but you'll see for yourself. And maybe you'll laugh out loud like I did. It's best to not pay too much, the matinee or discount Tuesday suits the film just fine.

FINAL VERDICT: INNOCENT, but just barely. I honestly almost didn't care what happened to these characters because they kept doing stupid shit. But the shady shit of another character sparks my desire to see that character suffer. Bailiff, this movie is free to go. And movie, stop taking your ass into scary places with just your good intentions.

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