Mortal Kombat 2021

Well, this movie was highly anticipated and not just because Lewis Tan liked some of my posts on Twitter, but because I'm also a fan of the games. Have been since their debut. (telling a little of my age here)

Anyway, I saw all of the MK movies and series, and have played the games. Hell, I even like the game where MK and the DC world merge.

So, I sat down to watch this film with my Bellaholics as we do every Saturday night. It began with a kickass opening, ending with a face-off slobberknocker between Subzero and Scorpion (pre names). It was everything I was looking forward to.

Then fast-forward to present time and we have Cole. Yes, Cole, played by Lewis Tan. Who the fuck is Cole, you ask? Well, he's someone. A non MK character the writers decided we needed to focus on. When I tell you I didn't give a shit about this character, please believe me.

Now, as I was watching the movie, I couldn't help but feel the original 1990s movie did it better. But even better than that, is the MK Legacy Web Series that was available on Youtube. It captured the spirit of MK better than this movie.

Link Here: https://www.youtube.com/show/SCnpF3oOPNSHiw13Q83Ln4sg?season=2

Also, the video games themselves have better storylines. So anyone saying "It's just a fighting game movie" has probably not played MK 10 or 11 or Aftermath. The plot of this movie was all over the place. With characters created just for the movie meant to be cannon fodder, so you don't really care what happens to them. And Kano shouldn't have been the life of the party, as other characters could have had a better presence. Don't get me wrong, Kano is one charismatic asshole character, but I felt the other characters were so dull, that he shined even more. I guess Kung Lao was second. It's just that personalities were, meh. Sonia was okay, but still, meh.

SPOILERS AHEAD

For instance, why was Lui Kang such a pussy? everyone and their momma was beating on his ass. This is Lui motherfucking Kang. The disrespect was painful for a MK fan like myself to watch. All so that this character COLE is the one to shine.

I don't give a fuck about Cole. I don't care that he's supposed to be the prophecy blood descendent of Scorpion. Hey, writers, instead of giving us Cole, why didn't you just give us fucking Scorpion!?!? Imagine just how much more badass this movie would have been. Hell, they could have given us Quan Chi to replace the two throwaway villains they had whose stupid ass names I don't even remember. Bat Bitch and Hammer dude. There, that's about all the time they are worth.

The rules didn't fucking matter, so I guess that's that. Tsang Sung kept showing up to talk the lamest shit I've ever heard. And Raiden ... well, he did some lightning shit here and there. Nothing amazing. Kept saying he can't interfere even though he was interfering.

The fight scenes were just okay. I've seen better fight scenes in movies like the Raid. The fatalities felt cheapened, save one with the hat. But since Kung Lao killed bat bitch, who had all of 2 mins of movie time from character introduction to death, you really didn't give a shit. They have way more impact in the games on GAME GRAPHICS, so... there's that.

FINAL VERDICT: On probation! Movie, what can I say... I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. You didn't deliver like you could have. It was like you were afraid to be gory, brutal or fuck, for that matter, logical. I'm going to assign some community service to you for your lack of "Bitch please" gumption. You're promising a return, so I hope it's better than this offering. And for fuck's sake, you didn't even give Kano a cyborg eye, you cheap bastard. Baliff, escort this movie out of my courtroom.