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Morbius - Movie Review


Ahhh, hell, let me get my thoughts together.


Anyone who knows even the cliff notes version of my crazy ass, knows that I LOVES me some vampires. I'll even watch some vampire shit that is hot garbage JUST because some vampires are in it.


Having said that, I found myself kind of bored with this movie. I might be hitting Marvel movie formula fatigue.


By that, I mean, the lack of creativity in creating first-time villains. I wasn't 15 mins into this movie before I had already predicted who the main villain was going to be, what powers he'd have and how it was going to end.


Marvel has a bad case of the same powers/afflictiion plot point in all of their movies. I think Spiderman is the only one that does have villains with their own uniqueness. Green Goblin was different, didn't have all the same abilities and weaknesses unlike everyone else.


So, knowing how it was going to end dampened my enjoyment because it was just the same ol shit. As far as his vampire abilities, I liked them. Liked how strong he was. Could give or take his neon flying effect, though. And his monster face was cool.


The PG 13 mess robbed me of my bloody fight scenes. Which is why I hate damn near every movie trying to make that PG 13 cut. It doesn't even make sense for a movie that's showing ppl getting killed, but "oh no, we can't show the blood." How the fuck you gonna have a vampire movie without blood in it? And I'm not talking about the blood packs either. Why is it TV14 for television has more balls than PG-13 for movies?


FUCK YOU PG-13!!! You've ruined too many damn movies.


Moving on, the most boring character in the movie was Tyrese sleepwalking ass. Does he even know what a facial expression means? Like, he was looking at some crazy shit happening and had ZERO reaction. is that what the director wanted? because damn. Boo this director. Some of the best parts about watching a movie/show where ppl have superhuman abilities is seeing other people's reactions to them. If you don't have that, you're fucking up.


Tyrese should have brought that same energy he had when he was crying about the Rock making movies to this role. LOL


It ended dumb too. I guess that was them trying to do sequel bait, but whatever. I can't even say the best part was the end credit scene because that didn't make sense. Not if Morbius is trying to have a conscience.


It was on par with both Venom movies, I think. Nothing special. Also, some of the humor just didn't feel organic like when he attacked some crooks in their lair.


Anyway...


FINAL VERDICT: ON PROBATION! Movie, I know you can do better. Now that you've gotten that whack-ass villain out of your system, maybe now you can reach your full potential. And fuck them kids, get your ass an R rating next time. Logan and Deadpool be rocking that shit. And trust me, kids have seen those movies. Hell, kids starred in those movies. You're free to go this time, but not without that ankle bracelet because I'll be watching your ass.




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Taina Welch
Taina Welch
Apr 06, 2022

I agree. I'm sitting up at theater with my birthday cocktail and felt like I didnt see enough still wanting something.....

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Nicholas Bella
Nicholas Bella
Apr 06, 2022
Replying to

Happy birthday 🎉. Yeah, that ending was silly and the movie could have had better closure and still do sequel bait. The thing is to make a movie good enough that ppl WANT a sequel.

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