Fast and Furious 9

Okay, let me be clear, I have been a fan of this series since the first movie. The only one I didn't care for that much was 3, Tokyo Drift. I might look at it again, but I haven't wanted to since I first saw it.

But I've seen the others multiple times. I am not of the crowd that complains that these movies have strayed too far from their street racing roots.

For one thing, how many movies could this franchise just focusing on the same plotline from the first movie? Exactly. The same ppl complaining about the lack of street racing, would be complaining about all they do is street racing if they'd stuck to the original premise for 9 damn movies and a spin-off.

Now, having said that, I will say that this shit is beyond ri-damn-diculous! It's a cartoon at this point. And being self-aware that it's some ol bullshit isn't giving this movie a pass. HOWEVER, I had so much fun watching this nonsense. I already knew what I was in for. I'm not holding on to the original roots. You can go on and give me all the craziness you can think of.

Vin D just texts his performances in these days. He can't even be bothered to phone it in. The only time he comes to life is during action sequences. He's my only complaint.

It goes without saying that the plot was stupid as fuck. And questions were left unanswered. And the "family's penchant for not taking out the charismatic bad guy is just par for the course, I guess.

I think the next movie, they are going to have to go into deep sea vehicles, you mark my words. Fast and Furious 10: The Abyss.

FINAL VERDICT: INNOCENT! Movie, I don't have the heart to send you to prison for the hard time you KNOW you should get. You know you ain't shit and that you're full of shit and you're proud of it. What can I say? I'm here for it. Now get your stupid ass out of my courtroom. And someone get Vin Diesel some damn speedball for the next movie, so that motherfucka can stay awake.