Review by Marco
First off, fuck you humans, for voting for me to watch this stupid ass movie with you. Next time you want to watch some trash, you better ask Derek or Donovan. They like hot garbage. I don't have time for it. In fact, the only reason I was able to make it through this thing masquerading as a movie is because I was high as fuck.
Now on to my review. Fuck this movie. Fuck these pathetic vampires. Fuck those stupid ass looking wolves and piss on that cartoon baby. The whole crew needed their asses whooped to within an inch of their lives. Half the damn run time of this boring ass movie was just them standing around looking at each other like some fucking morons.
And how long did it take the vampire high council, or whatever the hell they call themselves, to get to Forks? What the fuck, like they must have walked the whole way. Just anything to pad this piece of shit. No real conflict, terrible acting, damn near zero plot. And then that ending was some bullshit on the highest level.
I may be immortal, but I felt time age me while watching this torture device. Don't ever, and I mean EVER vote for me again to watch some bullshit like this. Or next time, I won't be so patient.