Breaking Dawn Part 1


I was feeling like torturing myself on our Saturday movie night when I decided to watch this movie. I think it's the same punishment I put myself through when I watched New Moon. I'm going to judge this story by the movie only and not the material the movie is based on. that's the only way I can be fair. This movie was boring as fuck. I found myself more interested in the fan blowing some dog fur across the living room than I did with whatever Bella and Edward were up to. This was the kind of movie where, if you have to go to the bathroom, or even to sleep, you don't even bother to pause it. I found so much wrong with this thing, first off the characters had no chemistry. The only thing you really saw them enjoying together was swimming and playing chess. No real interesting conversations, no other interests, nothing romantic or adorable, even for it being YA. It's just that the characters were so fucking bland.


I mean, Bella is walking toward Edward at her wedding looking like she wanted to puke and run. Not a smile in sight. Like, isn't he supposed to be her reason for living who she's getting ready to marry? What the hell is this, a shotgun wedding? The only interesting character in the whole movie was her dad. Jacob was just annoying as hell. Dude, you are in the friend zone. You never had a chance... move on with your life, moron. And speaking of Jacob, that brings me to the werewolves. BOOO these fleabags. I still don't know why they gave a shit about Bella, almost to the point of starting some whack ass war with the vampires. Especially when the alpha claimed she wasn't their business at the wedding. Lord, why was this over hours? When I was a teen, I was reading Anne Rice and Stephen King. Just saying. I found myself asking, what do these characters like to do? How do they really interact with each other? Everything felt so fake and convenient. The acting was atrocious and I'm not sure if that's only because they didn't have much to work with.


I'm going to leave it to Marco or Josef to watch the final movie. spare myself the pain.


FINAL VERDICT: GUILTY LIKE THE DEVIL HIMSELF! How dare you movie! if that's what you want to call yourself. How damn dare you stand in my courtroom and present this bullshit. Four movies in and you're still committing cinematic crime to the highest degree. Well, I won't allow this travesty to continue. I sentence you to death. May the movie god have mercy... you know what... you don't deserve mercy! Bailiff

, get this piece of shit out of my face!

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